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Joke Thread
Posted: Mon Jan 28, 2008 8:53 pm
by red_ned
I will start with one i stole the other day:
A bloke is driving happily along in his car with his girlfriend when he's pulled over by the police. The police officer approaches him and asks, "Have you been drinking Sir?"
"No. Why?" replies the man. "Was I all over the road?"
"No," replies the officer, "you were driving splendidly. It was the ugly fat bird in the passenger seat that made me suspicious."
ned
Posted: Mon Jan 28, 2008 9:25 pm
by frags
A jewish man walks into ASDA lobs his circumcised cock on the counter and says "I bet you can't roll that back"
Posted: Mon Jan 28, 2008 10:25 pm
by Frosteh
Q - There are 2 fleas on a fanny. One of them is a burglar, the other is a junkie. How do you tell them apart?
A - The burglar is hiding in the bush and the junkie is sniffing the crack
Boom Boom
Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 4:23 pm
by Brucie
Jeremy Beadle 1948 - 2008
Seems God has dealt him another bad hand...
I got that text today
poor Jeremy
Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 4:54 pm
by Kop
that was harsh lol
Posted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 12:53 am
by red_ned
"Doctor! There's fly in the ointment!"
"Yes, I know, he's recovering from a nasty soup-burn."
Posted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 4:26 pm
by scott
A guy gets pulled over by a cop for speeding. As the copper is writing up the ticket, the guy asks, "Can you arrest me for calling you a filthy name?" "Yes" replies the cop. He then asks, "Can you arrest me for thinking something?" "No" replies the cop. "Well then," says the man, "I think you're an asshole!"
Posted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 7:56 pm
by Frosteh
Did you know that Jeremy Beadle has a small penis?
.....But on the other hand it's quite big
Posted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 7:58 pm
by Frosteh
George Michael was admitted to hospital last night with a chocolate bar stuck up his arse.
It was a "Careless Wispa"
Posted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 8:00 pm
by Frosteh
Q - Why does Lt Uhuru (Star Trek) have a big steaming turd on her head?
A - Because William Shatner (Shat on her)